Ch-ch-ch-changes.

I couldn't think of a better title for this post. Please forgive me for being a little cheesy.  :-)  I need to brag on The Mister for a minute. Now, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that everything has been perfect for the past few months. But just recently I have noticed some big changes around here and I feel that that deserves accolades.

First of all, our son, Buddy, started kindergarten this fall.  One of the reasons that I quit my job after the birth of our third child was so that the Mister could get off of his overnight shift.  Instead he opted to go to an afternoon/evening shift.  Working the overnight shift and getting very few hours of sleep helped to create the sense of entitlement that encouraged The Mister to stray.

Anyway, the Mister decided on his own to switch to the overnight shift again because he was upset that he would not see Buddy on the days that he works.  It is a big step for him to put the family's needs ahead of his own. And of course we have talked about how he will get the proper amount of sleep. And we talked about some safeguards to protect the relationship.

Next, the Mister has had some cysts on his chest for quite some time. It was always a small reminder for me of the whore. Back when everything came out with The Mommies (some of our mutual friends), she was insistent on proving that she was not the psycho that I was led to believe and subsequently shared with the Mommies. So, she made a post on her blog to prove that she knew The Mister intimately.  In this blog post, one of the things she mentioned was the cysts.

Yesterday The Mister went to an appointment that was supposed to only be a consult, but he ended up just getting the cysts removed. I was shocked by this in general, especially when he started talking about how the doctor talked about slashing and cutting him. You see, my husband has been in the military for many years, he signed up shortly after 9/11. But he almost didn't join because he thought he would have to have his wisdom teeth removed and because he was anxious about the shots he would need to receive.  So the removal of an seemingly benign cyst is kind of a big deal.

When I asked him how about his experience of getting it removed he said that it sucked, but frankly he thought about all of the bad things he had done.  He said that if it would take away just one reminder for me of the whore , that it was the least he could do.  This is HUUUUUUGE.  We hadn't discussed this aspect of his cysts ever.  He came to that conclusion all on his own.

There are also a few other instances that have come up recently. Such as, his offering to give up coffee. That can sometimes be a trigger for me because its something that they both enjoyed and that I do not.  Also there was a difference of opinion between his mom and I and he supported my side without defending or making excuses for his mom.  And finally, that he was able to be responsible enough to go to an annual boys night, have a few drinks and was able to get up to take family pictures the next morning.

I'm not saying that things are perfect, but for the first time in a long time I'm feeling encouraged about our future.