The Whore was a friend of mine that I had met about 3 years ago through a Mommy's group. We weren't super close or anything, but we were more than acquaintances But, The Whore, The Bore, The Mister and I would invite each other over for dinner, wine and to hang out from time to time. We'd go long stretches without seeing or talking to each other, but then we'd invite each other to our kids' birthday parties and that would start the invites to dinner all over again.
In April 2012, we were invited to her kids' birthday party. The Mister then started pushing for us to invite them over for dinner again. I was less than thrilled about this. You see, The Whore and The Mister have always been a too flirty for my taste. Previously, I saw it as annoying, but harmless. It was always explained away because The Mister and The Whore are more outgoing, while The Bore and I are more introverted (although, I like to think that I am actually interesting...just quiet - ha!). I was pregnant at the time, so I was more tired and grumpy than usual and the thought of watching this mutual "outgoing"-ness was not high on my priorities.
But nevertheless, The Mister succeeded in finding a time to invite them over. We decided to forgo dinner (to make it easier on me) and we just had desserts and drinks instead. Sitting and watching everyone drink while I couldn't join in was just about as much fun as it sounds. While talking, our mutual friend (The Meddler) came up. The Whore was saying that they had them (as a couple) over once and it was super awkward. We talked about how much fun we have with them and that we were having them over the following night. So it was decided that the three couples would hang out then.
Admittedly, we did have a lot of fun the following night. Everyone else was drinking, but no one got out of control and we did have a lot of laughs. This started became “our thing” every few weeks - the three couples would hang out, drink, and have a few laughs (only it moved over to The Meddler's house). Things got progressively crazier – people drank more and more, things got more familiar and The Whore complained about her husband not satisfying her sexually…right in front of him (did I mention that she doesn't have appropriate boundaries). And everyone gave suggestions to try and help with that problem.
06/04/12
I was having a gathering at my house later in the week and, all of a sudden, The Mister is being super helpful around the house. At this point, I am quite pregnant and uncomfortable and he's offering to help get the house ready for company. Then he tells me that he's going to organize the kids' toys and he's bringing in the expert, The Whore, to help. This doesn't sit right with me. I ask a million questions and don't get any satisfactory answers. Why I didn't continue to push at this point, I will never know. But, this is the point that I became aware that they were texting and he had been deleting the text messages.
06/05/12
The day of the "playdate." The Whore came over and we all ate pizza together. Then I had to go to work while they "organized the toys." I was so upset about this that I was having Braxton Hicks contractions at work. They basically just threw away a bunch of stuff that didn't need to be thrown away. The Mister and I fought about it and he even said at some point that The Whore worked really hard and I should apologize to her (this comment still haunts me).
06/09/12
As I said, things got progressively crazier. The Whore had apparently been reading 50 Shades of Grey and was hyper-sexualized that night. She kept straddling The Bore, making moaning sounds, losing layers of clothing - basically anything she could do to get attention. The Mister thought it was a good idea to drink straight tequila and allowed himself to get "black-out" drunk. At one point, I told him that I was uncomfortable by what was going on and he yelled at me about it. This was so out of character for him that I dropped it and put on a happy face. Then everyone decided to get into the hot tub (except for me, again because I was pregnant). Later, I was told by The Meddler that The Whore had her foot in The Mister's crotch and tried to kiss him. I was too disgusted by everything that was going on to process it at the time. Eventually, I was able to drag The Mister home and made him sleep in Buddy's bed (I had Buddy sleep with me). As I laid in bed rehashing the night's events, I toss and turn for hours and became more and more angry. Eventually, I got up and wrote out a list of demands that included: no more drinking straight alcohol, guidelines on acceptable physical contact , he needed to let me know of any contact between him and The Whore and no more deleted text messages. Nothing too restrictive. And I left it on the kitchen table for him to find when he got up.
06/10/12
The Mister gets up the next morning and I hear him come up with the paper muttering "tequila was a bad idea." He comes in and asks me about the night because he doesn't remember much. I fill him in on the most critical details, he signed the paper and wrote me a nice note about "whatever I needed consider it done."
Later, The Mister and I talk. I cry, I yell, I tell him that the events that took place prove that my suspicion about her flirtations were correct - you get the picture. He calls the other two husbands and apologizes. And I avoid The Whore, who keeps trying to contact me to apologize.
06/11/12
I send The Whore a message on FB saying I wasn't ready to talk. I let her know that the most hurtful thing is that the events surrounding the "playdate" were very reminiscent of high school when The Mister broke up with me for his ex. The shadiness of the deleted text messages, making me feel paranoid, etc. I tell her that I'm just not ready to forgive and forget yet. I also tell her that I think it's best that she not come to out 4th of July party.
6/12/12
I'm talking to The Mister, I tell him that I was thinking about inviting The Whore to lunch - just the two of us - no husbands. And I felt a little bad about uninviting her, but I didn't want some big drawn-out hugfest in front of my neighbors. Plus, she made it clear (on Saturday) that she didn't care about my feelings, so I shouldn't worry about hers. He said he was proud of me for moving on, yadda yadda.
6/13/12
I got a text message that we were about to go over on our minutes. I was trying to figure out how this could happen. So, I log into Verizon to see our phone usage and suddenly realize that I can see the usage of our text messages - as in all of the tos and froms, not the actual messages.
Interesting...The Mister and The Whore were texting on Monday AND it was deleted. ONE DAY after signing a paper saying he would and saying to consider whatever I needed done to be done. I can't even explain the rage that I felt. So I confronted him. He didn't think it was a big deal because they were rehashing what each of them remembered from Saturday and he deleted it because he knew I'd be mad.
So, we fight about this and he implies that I'm blowing things out of proportion. It get ugly. I tell him that if I weren't 8 months pregnant with no place to go and no daycare, I'd be gone. He says "I talked to someone else a few times and now you want to leave? I don't even know what to say." I said "Nope, you talked to a specific person one fucking day after signing a contract stating you wouldn't and I want to leave." (This is via text message, while I'm at work, crying, hidden back in my office.
He then begged me to come home and said he would do whatever it takes, including leave the house, for me to come home.
So, I told him he needed to get his Mom's take on it. His Dad cheated on his Mom and left her for the "other woman" (to whom he's still married to, FYI), so I knew she'd have an opinion. I did tell him a couple of times that this is how affairs start. To which he immediately got defensive that he wasn't cheating on me. I did get him to begrudgingly admit to an emotional affair.
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