As I stated, I have these different entities inside of me. These entities battle and sometimes it gets ugly. During one of our last discussions, The Mister said "I need you to tell me that I make you happy." This set set in motion a conflict of massive proportions inside my head.
The hurt child becomes hysterical. The Mister's affair hurt her deeply. And yet again, there was no one to protect her from The Mister and The Mister did not protect her from anyone else. She was raw and vulnerable and that hurt.
The caretaker goes into full codependency mode. You see on DD #2, she assured The Mister that if he just told the truth that they could get through anything. She could fix this. She would carry the responsibility. That is until she got tired of feeling like she was the only one carrying the responsibility. Then she was angry. The Mister needs to be punished for his actions, after all.
The Adult knows that it's not fair to punish him now. She knows that it would be more productive to focus on recovery. But it's difficult to keep the other two at bay. And it's going to be impossible to truly recover without healing the past. She's trying to decipher the difference between healing the past and punishing. The Adult is still developing and shaky on her feet, but she's growing stronger each day.
My personal outlet as I attempt to recover from the trauma of infidelity. Follow my journey as I attempt to pick up the pieces following the discovery of my husband’s 6 month affair with someone that I considered to be a friend, battle depression, and more. Check out the links to the right to get caught up on my saga.
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