Schizo.

About a month ago, I wrote about my codependency.  I've been reading, seeing my counselor, and doing the work.  You know, in addition to all of my other responsibilities.  I'm starting to better understand myself.  I feel like there are (at least) three distinct entities with in me.  These entities fight amongst themselves.  On any given day of of the three will be the frontrunner - or all three at some point.  It's almost like I'm schizophrenic.  Almost.  The entities are as follows:

• The Hurt Child - This is the little girl inside me.  She is the one who was always waiting for someone to protect her, but who was always disappointed.  Her job was to support and nurture her mother.  Her father turned a blind eye when the people in her life started criticising her, blaming her, or putting her down.

• The Caretaker - This is the entity that I suspect arose after my parents divorce.  Then is was just my mom, my brother and I.  Someone needed to step up and be the responsible one, I believe this is when The Caretaker showed up.  I also believe this is when my codependency began - or at least was solidified.

• The (Well-Adjusted) Adult - For a long time, this entity either did not exist or had a very quiet voice.  This is the one I am trying to strengthen.  She is emotionally healthy.  She is only responsible for her own burdens.  She is always working toward making herself a better person, but she is aware that she already has a lot of strengths.  I'm trying to build her up to be the primary entity.  It is a challenging task, for sure.