He says "I love you."
I say "Thank you."
He asks "Do you love me?"
I answer "I wouldn't still be here if I didn't love you."
He responds "I know, but it's still nice to hear."
What I want to say is "Fuck what you want to hear, you don't deserve it."
But, I don't. I play nice - as I always have. Even though very few people have returned the favor.
Why don't I get what I deserve?
My personal outlet as I attempt to recover from the trauma of infidelity. Follow my journey as I attempt to pick up the pieces following the discovery of my husband’s 6 month affair with someone that I considered to be a friend, battle depression, and more. Check out the links to the right to get caught up on my saga.
Demand it.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog, and I must commend you for the way you've handled everything. My heart goes out to you for what you've been through. You might not be feeling it, but you are very strong.
So...tell Mr. what you need, and that you expect to get it. Why isn't it feasible for you to get a break? Why is he the one who indulges his every little whim, to the point where he destroyed your marriage? You are an equal partner. You are not a martyr. You are a human being with needs and feelings.
He needs to drive the reconciliation train here, but he seems content to coast and hope it's enough. It isn't, but you can't do the work for him. Focus on you. Determine what you need to feel good about YOU again. Tell him he broke it, he needs to fix it or you have to reconsider your options. BUT, you gotta mean it.
You are OK. Really. Keep up the good work.
Thank you. I really am working on myself right now. There are a lot of things that my head knows, but my heart just doesn't feel yet. However, I am working on correcting this. :-)
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