Friendship.

A double betrayal affair is when your spouse's affair partner is a friend.  Not only are you betrayed by your spouse, but you are also betrayed by your friend.  I am a victim of a double betrayal.  The Whore was my friend.  Among other things, I feel guilt because I brought this person into our lives.  Logically, I understand that the problems would have existed whether or not The Mister had decided to actually engage in his affair, but it's hard to convince my heart of that.  In addition, my world was rocked in so many different ways.  Not only am I picking up the pieces of my marriage, but I also lost a few friends along the way.  But,what can I do?  I'm just going to take my ball and go home.  I've learned my lesson, I'll find better friends who know how to play fair.

Anyway, another roadblock to my recovery that I have not seen addressed anywhere else develops as a complication of the friendship between The Whore and I.  We started off as friends, which means that we had things in common.  That means that there are a lot of potential triggers to navigate through.  The first time it struck me was one of our early sessions in marriage counseling.  Our counselor asked me about my hobbies.  I really couldn't think of anything beyond my children and messing around on the computer.  What an exciting life I lead!  The counselor suggested that I explore my hobbies in an effort to help my depression. But, I was at a loss.  Anything I could think of, I knew The Whore also had an interest in that.  Not only was I trying to avoid a trigger for myself, but I was also worried about reminding The Mister of The Whore.

Fortunately, I have been able find some areas that excite me.  Some of them, I know are things that The Whore also shares interest, but I've been able to make them my own.  Other things, I'm not sure that she would consider them a hobby and I have zero interest in finding out!