Selfish.

I hear all the time about how affairs are "selfish."  I hear this not only from other people, but also from The Mister.  It doesn't bother me so much when others say it, but it just doesn't sit right when The Mister says it. He will often freely confess some variant of "I was stupid, I was an asshole, I was selfish."  The others don't bother me, but the "I was selfish" just rubs me the wrong way.  I'm not even sure that I can appropriately explain my feeling on this.

When someone says they were selfish it means that they were seeking their own pleasure without regard for others.  So to me, when The Mister says "I was selfish" he's saying it's something I want to do, but shouldn't have because it's wrong.  I guess I would rather hear ""I was obviously struck with temporary insanity.  I mean, why else would I even give THAT a second thought??"  However, I would even be satisfied with "I did something that I thought at the time made me happy, but I now realize that I was blinded by the fantasy of no responsibilities"...or something along those lines.

I did have a discussion with The Mister, where I tried to explain my issue with "I'm selfish."  But, it's a fine line between explaining my concern to him and telling him what to say.  It really is meaningless if he just regurgitates my words.  And really, I'm not sure that he could ever find the right words because he can't honestly tell me "It never happened."  I guess, in that case, I can only hope that my feelings eventually make sense to him and he is able to put it into his own words.